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For all of you who are not lactose intolerant, here's a list of ways that cheese is your friend (from the cheese's perspective):
Home is Where the Cheese Is
For some, cheese is more than just a food; it's a sign that you're home.
"The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath."
"Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate."
"What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?"
"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese."
"There's always free cheese in the mouse traps, but the mice there ain't happy."
"The watched cheese never grills."